Misguided??

So this fall marks my 6th term at UMUC and I have really been enjoying going back to school. The work is daunting at times and there are some days I want to throw in the towel but that little voice in the back of my head slaps some sense into me and reminds me that I only feel that way because I am in need of a good night's sleep (which I seem to get less and less of these days!!) Usually after one of those, I have a whole new burst of energy and when I see my grades, it motivates me even more to continue my work (my current GPA is 3.67)!! So overall, college has been a great experience for me.

All that being said, I am really struggling with a decision that I need to make sooner than later. Over these last three terms, I have not been enjoying myself in my literature classes at all. I love to read novels, love to discuss books and listen/read other people's vantage points regarding the novels. However, in the same breath, I loathe poetry, just can not find joy in the old classics such as Beowulf or The Canterbury Tales and really get irritated with the male dominance in the literary world before the early 1900's. It is really making me second guess my decision to major in English Literature. I am just not sure I would enjoy teaching portions of literature I hate and unfortunately, I would have to teach poetry at some point as well as dealing with the patriarchal views of early literature from writers like Percy Shelley and Lord Byron.

At the beginning of the Spring term, I decided to add a Humanities minor to my degree plan. I really enjoy all that Humanities has to offer: philosophy, sociology, fine arts, art history, movies, you name it. I took a basic Humanities 100 class and I loved every second of it. Now I am taking a film class and while the coursework is unreal, it is probably the most enjoyable class I have taken in years upon years. Next term, I am taking a philosophy class and a seminar in Shakespeare studies (which I love Shakespeare) but I am more excited for the philosophy class.

So that brings me to my dilemma...do I switch my major this late in the game and just take the handful of extra classes I would need for a Humanities major and keep an English minor. Or do I stick it out and hope that I am just burnt out from going to school non-stop for the last 13 months? I would hate to have wasted my GI Bill on something I have lost complete interest in however, I am so close to graduation (I have 9 classes left, 2 of which I am currently taking). It is such a hard decision to make but one I need to make ASAP!!! I wish I had a crystal ball to see into the future and see what my guided path is meant be!!!

Anyone have one laying around they could loan me?

Curve balls

At least it has only been one week since my last blog post and not 5 months!! LOL

It seems like every time things are going one way in life, I get thrown a curve ball and need to go another direction.

So the Whole30 challenge went out the window for us after day 3. The vomiting Little Man started on Day 1 turned out to be a 4 days affair and a very serious stomach flu that landed both he and his sister in the hospital. So it has been a huge struggle to get them to eat something, anything to get their strength back up. They each lost almost 8 pounds when they were sick which of course has me worried when it comes to Little Man because he is already skinny enough. He is definitely going to be a lanky boy when he gets older.

So we decided to revamp the challenge and just move to a healthy way of eating. We are eating many, many more veggies and more fruit. We have cut out all the junk food and focus on healthy options. I have gone back to reading the labels and if it has something in it that I don't know or crap like high fructose corn syrup, I don't buy it. I won't be buying shortcut meals anymore either. If it is possible for me to make it homemade, I will. I have even gotten the kids involved with picking out things and teaching them the difference between a healthy option and a not healthy option. It is a learning process for all of us and I am so proud of my family with each little step we take. Of course there will be set backs, I mean who can resist Target's popcorn??? But instead of beating myself up about it, I will enjoy it in moderation as my children will. Like yesterday when I let them get popcorn from Target. Normally I get them each their own bag but instead I got one bag and split it between them. They each only ate about 1/2 the bag too. So baby steps, I just have to remind myself that constantly, baby steps....

Speaking of baby steps, Little Man starts first grade tomorrow!! I want to cry!! I can not believe he is growing up so fast. It seems like this summer flew by and I didn't get to do even a 1/4 of all the fun things I wanted to do with them. This summer was a life lesson for me for sure. In the future, I will not try to take classes when the kids are out of school. Not because I can't do the work or anything but because I didn't want to work, I wanted to play. Next summer, we will be living in an entirely new country so after we get back from the States (we are going to be there in mid-June and most of July for my sister's wedding), we must spend the rest of the summer exploring and enjoying all our new home has to offer. I can't wait!!!

Whole30 Day 1

Well today was our first day!! I spent the whole day yesterday shopping and cleaning out the pantry. We threw out 2 garbage bags of opened junk and gave away a large box of food to a person at my husband's work who is having financial issues.

Let's just say Day 1 went as expected. Our Day 1 meals went as follows:

Breakfast:   Breakfast Casserole
                    Fresh Raspberries

I left out the onions in this casserole because my family hates onions. Also, I made it into muffins so it is portable for the Hubby. He has to be at work at an horrible hour this week so I just wanted to make sure he gets some good eats for breakfast. The verdict: I thought they tasted great!!! Little Man ate his two (I made large muffins for the adults and regular sized muffins for the kids). Princess flat out refused to eat any of it. The Hubby said he ate one of the two I packed for him but couldn't eat them both.

Lunch:  Burgers cooked on the grill pan (no bun, no condiments)
              Romaine Lettuce with Cherry Tomatoes and Cashews
              Raw Carrots

Hubby had a luncheon so I have no idea what he ate. He says he stuck to meat and veggies. Little Man ate almost everything with the exception of the tomatoes and cashews. Princess ate her lettuce and her carrots of course plus the cashews but would not touch the burger or the tomatoes. I ate it all!!! LOL

Dinner: Ribeye Steaks on the grill pan (it was storming here so the grill was out)
              Cauliflower Carrot Herb Mash
              Sauteed Asparagus

Of course the steaks were a hit with myself and the Hubby. The kids would not touch a single bite of food. The mash was good but had way too many herbs in it. The rosemary was so overpowering. I will make it again but leave out most of the rosemary. I cooked it exactly as the recipe stated because I can't determine if a recipe is good or not without trying it the right way first. But after dinner, I was the only one who was full (go figure)!!

Hubby got on me about the kids not eating. I said it was their choice not to eat but he insisted that I give them something to eat since they wouldn't eat their dinner. I made Ants on a Log with almond butter, celery and raisins. Princess loved it but Little Man said he wasn't feeling well so skipped it. Of course, not 20 minutes later, Little Man was throwing up. So now I am worried of course because I have no bread products in my house to use as a stomach settler. Hopefully this will be the only episode and he wakes up better tomorrow!!!

I did get my workout in also, which is a plus!!!  Day 1 of the 30 Day Shred. I figure if I am doing the Whole30 Challenge, I might as well do the 30 Day Shred to go along with it. Plus I did some Zumba Fitness but had to stop because we had an appointment. Tomorrow I hope to be able to complete both!!

So overall, like I said earlier, it was how expected Day 1 to go. It is going to be a long 30 days but I know it will be worth it in the end. Now that I sent the Hubby and littles to bed (despite his horrible sweet tooth cravings), I need to bust a move on some homework so until next time.......

Changes

I can not believe it has been 5 months since I last blogged. What have I been doing with my life??? ALOT. Hubby came home from deployment and life has been non-stop ever since. Between traveling (Alabama, Texas, Disney World and Louisiana), school ending (for the kids, at least) and now prepping for an overseas move, my life has been "go, go, go" every day. But I have been loving our summer so far and am partly sad to see it end in 10 days (the other part is excited because Mama needs so "alone" time to get some stuff done)!!!

So many changes are occurring in our lives right now. We are moving at the end of the year so the kids will only be attended their schools here until Thanksgiving. Then we will head to NY for the holidays and will leave for our new duty station shortly after the new year. Little man starts first grade and Princess starts Pre-K. I am entering my final year of college (YAY) and Hubster is just a handful of classes away from finishing his BS!!! Our lives seem to revolve around school in this household. Both kids will be doing gymnastics but we opted for no other sports since we are limited on time between school and moving preps. I wanted to keep our weekends open for visiting with friends and what not.

The biggest change that is about to occur in our life has to do with our diet. For years now, I have been battling with GI issues as well as being insulin resistant. My labs have been consistently getting worse despite me actually "feeling good". On top of my health issues, Princess was diagnosed with kidney reflux and Little Man with allergy induced asthma. Hubster is constantly fatigued and feels run-down regardless of what is going on (we could go on vacation, do nothing for a week and he is still exhausted).

Well I finally decided enough is enough. My soul sister started doing a program call TheWhole30 and was really pumped about it. She got me very intrigued especially when she told me about how it could help people with health issues such as my own. So I decided to purchase the book and let me tell you, I felt like I was reading "The Hunger Games" or "50 Shades" again because I couldn't put it down!! I was completely hooked and I was so excited to start the program!! Essentially the program is a way to reprogram your body to do what it is suppose to do by going back to a type of Paleo diet. Meats, veggies, fruits, nuts and good fats like cocanut oil and EVOO. Sounds good, right???

But there was a kicker for me........I knew that if I did not start the program with my entire family on board, I would not be able to do it. So I started discussing it with the Hubster. I read him different excerpts from the book and showed him how it could help not just me but all four of us. After talking to him very briefly, he hopped on board and is just as excited as I am to start the program. For anyone that knows my husband, you know what a hard thing this is for him because he is a very picky eater!! But he is doing his best to support me and anything that would make me feel better and possible end up OFF medications!!

So the start date has been set: August 15th. Today I am doing a shopping list and tentative meal guide. Tomorrow and Tuesday, I am packing up all the junk food in the house and saying goodbye to it!! This change I think will actually be the hardest on our Princess. She has a wicked sweet tooth but if we stick to it, hopefully not only will my children develop great eating habits but they will learn that dessert and sweets are a very rare treat versus an everyday occurrence (after the 30 day start, of course).

So wish us luck and if you have something negative to say about it, I ask you these questions: Are you overweight? Are you a picture of health? Do you ever suffer from any kind of  pain like joint or stomach pain, allergies, poor sleeping habits, headaches, etc...? Then maybe, before you judge and interject your unnecessary comments, you should look at the program yourself. It might change your life!!!

Military medicine at its finest (insert sarcasm here)

On February 29th, after calling the nurses line, I was advised to bring my daughter into the emergency department. We were called to the triage room approximately 20 minutes after check-in. I informed the civilian triage attendant of my child's symptoms (high fever and severe localized stomach pain). He asked how I acquired her temperature and I told him in the axillary (armpit) area to which he told me that I was incorrect for taking her temperature there as that is not an appropriate place to do so. Really dude? So you are trying to tell me that all these years, I have been taking not only my children's temperature wrong but any child I came in contact with when I was a Hospital Corpsman? Very interesting.....

He then told me he needed to take her temperature rectally. While attempting to do so, my child go very upset. After a few moments, the tech stated "that will have to do" even though the thermometer had not finished (he stopped at 100.6). I was then instructed to return to the waiting room and the tech left the room. When I lifted my daughter, she started vomiting profusely. After yelling for help THREE times, the tech returns to room, sees her vomiting then looks at me like I am suppose to clean it up. He leaves the room to grabs some towels and instead of handing me one to start cleaning up my daughter, he puts them on the floor to clean up the floor. My child then got very upset since she had vomit all over herself, on me and her blanket  (my kids hate to be dirty but I think in this instance, most kids would be upset). I asked the ED staff if they had anything I could put on her, at first they said they had nothing that we could use. I said "are you serious? you have nothing I can put on her so she doesn't have to sit in her own vomit?" and they stated they could only offer me a thin sheet but I would have to return it when we left the ED. Then I asked if I could have some paper towels to clean her up and I was instructed to take her to the waiting room bathroom to clean her up.

While this was all transpiring, my son (who was with us because my husband is currently deployed and we rushed to the ED, figuring I would call someone to come get him if I needed someone to) was standing in the doorway, trying to avoid the vomit. A First Class Petty Officer came over and lectured my 5 year old son about keeping the door shut for patient privacy. However, the ED staff had little concern for the dignity of my 3 year old daughter and sent me to the waiting room with only a thin sheet to cover her now naked body with the exception of her underwear. The best was that when I stated to the tech that he could add vomiting to the symptoms, he informed me that my daughter only vomited because she got so upset when he attempted to take her temperature. I was livid about how we were treated. My friend came up and rescued me since I wanted to leave after being treated so terribly.

We went to the civilian hospital, where my child continued to vomit (remember, the tech said it was only because she was upset) and was eventually admitted to the hospital for possible appendicitis. We spent three days in the hospital and we eventually found out that my daughter had a kidney infection as well as being dehydrated and having strep throat. I have never been more upset about the horrible treatment of patients that tends to occur at military facilities. They are so concerned about numbers and have very little compassion for sick people. Everyone is on the same playing field and there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to how people are seen. Someone needs to be held accountable for their actions and this Momma is going to make sure that happens!!!

This will not go by the way side by any means!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EPIC FAIL

If you Google the meaning of "Epic Fail", it comes up with the definition of EPIC FAIL being "Total failure".....yup, that about covers it. I am immensely shocked to find, however, that if I scrolled down a bit, there was no picture of me when there very well should be!!

Today, after probably the worst, most embarrassing weekend I have had in a lifetime, I got the opportunity to reflect (during a VERY long 4 hour car ride) on the decisions and actions in my life to try to figure out why I can never succeed at anything I do. After hitting rock bottom, this is what I have come up with.....

I am meant to be a failure. I have spent hours and hours trying to figure out what I am going to be in my life and I finally figured it out because I am already it....a genuine, grade-A, can't get right Failure. I was put on this earth not to be a teacher, a mom or a wife but to fail at all of those things so others could model their lives around what not to do. This is the only thing I can come up with when I reflect on the situation.

As I reflect on my life, I can honestly say that there has not been one thing that I stand out in at all. Not sports, I was never very good. Just good enough to make the team and that is about it.
Not relationships, we do not even need to go there.
Not motherhood, my children are the most spoiled, selfish, whiney, evil children in the world and I am proud to say I created those monsters since after all "children are a reflection of their parents"
Not being a wife, my husband has his own special way of reminding me that his life would function if I wasn't in it (not intentionally or to be mean, he just is great at his own life and I pretty much weigh him down).
Not being a friend, this one I suck at immensely. I drop the ball on so much when it comes to my friends and to be honest I am shocked I even have one.
Not being a sibling, this one is very apparent since I rarely hear from my siblings and when I am home, I am the center of everyone's jokes. Out of sight, out of mind.....
Not at having a career. I gave up my career to have another "career" as a stay at home mom. As stated above, FAIL!!! Moreover, add another fail for giving up one career that I was so-so at to have another one that I suck major ass at!!
Not at being a daughter. One of my parents at all times has issues with the things I do in my life. What I do is never good enough, never meets their approval or is met with discouraging words (again not intentionally, it is just because I fail at everything and they are being honest). 

I could add some more in there but I think I got my point across. Therefore, I guess I can end all of this foolishness of trying to get a degree and figure out who I want to be when I am older. I figured it out.....

I am who I am: MS. EPIC FAIL!!!!

Goals and Distractions

So here it is Wednesday night (well technically early Thursday morning) and I just realized I never did my goal update and for this week, I am not going to. Why you might ask? Well, I have been too distracted from my goals to even attempt my goals. So I made a new permenant goal....

No More Distractions!!!

What kind of distractions do I mean?  I mean the "my child is sick so I slack on everything because I feel that gives me perfect opportunity to do nothing but snuggle on the couch". While yes, I love to snuggle on the couch with my babies, especially when they are sick and need me so much, doing it for 5 days and letting everything slack is completely ridiculous. I lose all motivation and then I kick myself in the pants because I have to play catch-up with everything!! And if you are a mom, you know that playing catch-up is probably one of the worst things you can do to yourself.

I mean the "let me hop on Facebook to send my husband a quick note and then lose an hour because I have to read who hates their spouse, who is leaving FB because of drama (only to return in 24 hours asking if anyone missed them) or stare at my friend's/family's beautiful pictures, wishing I was closer to hug every one them!!" Taking a class in social networking has been an eye opener for me. I knew I loved Facebook but I have suddenly realized I am consumed with it, so not a good thing. So I am challenging myself to one hour of Facebook time a day and that is only if as much work as I can do for the day is completed. I even came up with a way to basically yell at myself.....

Surprisingly, it worked today. I got so much accomplished and feel good about myself as I get ready to head to bed.

So distraction tried to take over my life, let's see if I can kick them out or if I will get too distracted!! LOL

Goals Check In

It's MONDAY!!!! The start of another week and time for this week's goal challenge update!!! How are you doing with your goals?

My goals and their status:

Daily:
1) Fill in the kids chore charts to help them earn their allowance. We did awesome this week. Noah is saving for a special toy and the chat has sparked a whole new level of helpfulness!!! Yay!!
2) Continue the "no video games" during the school week with the exception of Noah's use of Reading Eggs. A success this week!! We will be moving from Reading Eggs to a new program sent home from his teacher this week.
3) Limit TV time to no more than 2 hours per day (with the exception of sick days) Didn't do too well this week since I am on break from school. I am playing catch up on my DVR.
4) Work with Jordan one hour per day on educational activities Starting out slow with this but at least we have started. She does a workbook when Noah does his homework.
5) Spend one hour per class each day on my studies even if my homework is done for the week. Time to get started on this, break ends on Tuesday!!
6) Have Noah review his sight words 3 times daily. Up to twice a day, shooting for three!! 
7) Read the Bible to the kids Going great and the kids are even more into than they were before
8) Read my Bible and devotional book (shooting for twice a day) Started reading my Bible again which is good

Weekly:

1) Stick to a cleaning and maintenance schedule for the house Got my schedule all printed out but didn't even touch it
2) Start working out regularly, at least 3 times a week I have my goal set to start on Tuesday. I can do it.....I hope!!
3) Eat out no more than once per week: Did great on this one. Decided to not include our ritual pizza night in with this.
4) Attend church  Went Saturday night and missed it so much these last few weeks!!
5) Send something to Hubby: card, letter, picture, boxes, anything EPIC FAIL
6) Work on Noah and Jordan's handwriting at least 3 times a week Finally got this one going too!! Yay
7) Try to blog 3 times a week if not more Another epic fail!!

Monthly: 
1) Try one new place every month, even if means driving out of town: Not looking promising this month unless we go someplace new when we go up to VA at the end of the month

2) Buy birthday cards for the month at the beginning of each month and address and stamp them immediately. I actually don't have any Feb. birthdays in my family so I am good on this

Short term goals:

1) Have family photos printed and framed 

2) Print out picture for bedroom and frame 

3) Send out TS business email about ending business I posted about this on my FB group page. I need to send out an actual email.

4) Have Little Man reading stage 1 books without help before the Hubby's return in the spring
5) Purchase new washer and dryer: Bought, installed and used several times already!!! Love them!!
6) Get the garage organized prior to Hubby's return Thanks to my awesome friend, this is closer to completion than ever before!!
7) Organize recipe binder
8) Organize household binder
9) Get DVD's situated (DVD case, labels and get rid of the boxes!!)
10) Purchase new vacuum
11) Start preps for Hubby's homecoming!! (So excited to write this one) Ordered the printed signs, now time to get the stuff to make the homemade signs. Anyone know were I can get the markers for the windows in our van?
12) Start planning our vacations for the year. Texas at the end of April (hopefully without kids if we can arrange it), Disney at some point and possibly a week in Gatlinburg!!
13) Plan Jordan's 4th birthday party (is she really turning 4???): She decided on the theme, now figuring out the venue

Long Term
1) GET OUT OF DEBT!!!! (The cards in the freezer is working so far...lol) Cards are back in the fridge!! 
2) Complete my Bachelor's degree with a minimum of a 3.5 GPA
3) Start my Master's degree immediately after completing my BA. No break from school!!
4) Plan a vacation with my husband yearly, just the two of us. We tend to lose who we are when we become parents and I think it is important for us to recapture that. Even if it for a few days, it needs to be done!!
5) Learn to speak a different language. I am leaning toward French but think Spanish is the best bet especially if I plan on teaching someday.


Goals Completed since October 27th, 2011: 10 1/2

Getting my goals started again!!!

Wow, I can't beleive I haven't done a goal update since the end of November!!! December was such a crazy month for us. By the time I got to NY for the holidays, I was literally exhausted!! I slept so much while I was there but it was nice to relax. But now it is a new year which means time to get focused again!! As you all know, I am participating in a goal challenge started by my friend at USNchic Goals. Every Monday, I will post an update of my goals and how much I accomplished. I would like to encourage you to set goals for yourself and keep track whether by a blog, a Facebook note or good old pen and paper. Everyone needs a goal or two in life, gives you something to work for!! 

My goals and their status:

Daily:
1) Fill in the kids chore charts to help them earn their allowance. We were doing great with this before the holidays hit. We start again today and the kids are actually excited about it!!
2) Continue the "no video games" during the school week with the exception of Noah's use of Reading Eggs. This will be a struggle since Noah got used to playing on his DS a lot while we were in NY. I guess I will have to put my foot down about it.
3) Limit TV time to no more than 2 hours per day (with the exception of sick days) After today, we will be starting this again. The TV has been on a lot lately.
4) Work with Jordan one hour per day on educational activities She got a lot of school work activities from Christmas so we will be working on this one
5) Spend one hour per class each day on my studies even if my homework is done for the week. I am on break this week but I am trying to a least read some so I can stay ahead of the game.
6) Have Noah review his sight words 3 times daily
7) Read the Bible to the kids We slacked off on this on vacation but we are starting up again tonight.
8) Read my Bible and devotional book (shooting for twice a day) see above

Weekly:

1) Stick to a cleaning and maintenance schedule for the house Got my schedule all printed out. Starting it today!!
2) Start working out regularly, at least 3 times a week
3) Eat out no more than once per week
4) Attend church
5) Send something to Hubby: card, letter, picture, boxes, anything
6) Work on Noah and Jordan's handwriting at least 3 times a week
7) Try to blog 3 times a week if not more

Monthly: 
1) Try one new place every month, even if means driving out of town

2) Buy birthday cards for the month at the beginning of each month and address and stamp them immediately.

Short term goals:

1) Have family photos printed and framed 

2) Print out picture for bedroom and frame 

3) Get Christmas cards done and sent out by December 10th I had them out by the 15th, 5 days late isn't too bad

4) Have Christmas shopping done prior to Dec. 17th this so did not happen!!

5) Send out TS business email about ending business I posted about this on my FB group page. I need to send out an actual email.

6) Have Little Man reading stage 1 books without help before the Hubby's return in the spring
7) Purchase new washer and dryer
8) Get the garage organized prior to Hubby's return Thanks to my awesome friend, this is closer to completion than ever before!!
9) Organize recipe binder
10) Organize household binder
11) Get DVD's situated (DVD case, labels and get rid of the boxes!!)
12) Write out Christmas lists for purchased gifts and gift ideas so I don't over-purchase or miss anyone!! I am working on this one. I swear I am missing someone!!!
13) Start working on reading list with Banana I started this over the holidays. We are both struggling to get through the first book.
14) Purchase new vacuum
15) Start preps for Hubby's homecoming!! (So excited to write this one)
16) Start planning our vacations for the year. Texas at the end of April (hopefully without kids if we can arrange it), Disney at some point and possibly a week in Gatlinburg!!
17) Plan Jordan's 4th birthday party (is she really turning 4???)

Long Term
1) GET OUT OF DEBT!!!! (The cards in the freezer is working so far...lol) Christmas did not help this goal what so ever!!
2) Complete my Bachelor's degree with a minimum of a 3.5 GPA
3) Start my Master's degree immediately after completing my BA. No break from school!!
4) Plan a vacation with my husband yearly, just the two of us. We tend to lose who we are when we become parents and I think it is important for us to recapture that. Even if it for a few days, it needs to be done!!
5) Learn to speak a different language. I am leaning toward French but think Spanish is the best bet especially if I plan on teaching someday.


Goals Completed since October 27th, 2011: 6 1/2