EPIC FAIL

If you Google the meaning of "Epic Fail", it comes up with the definition of EPIC FAIL being "Total failure".....yup, that about covers it. I am immensely shocked to find, however, that if I scrolled down a bit, there was no picture of me when there very well should be!!

Today, after probably the worst, most embarrassing weekend I have had in a lifetime, I got the opportunity to reflect (during a VERY long 4 hour car ride) on the decisions and actions in my life to try to figure out why I can never succeed at anything I do. After hitting rock bottom, this is what I have come up with.....

I am meant to be a failure. I have spent hours and hours trying to figure out what I am going to be in my life and I finally figured it out because I am already it....a genuine, grade-A, can't get right Failure. I was put on this earth not to be a teacher, a mom or a wife but to fail at all of those things so others could model their lives around what not to do. This is the only thing I can come up with when I reflect on the situation.

As I reflect on my life, I can honestly say that there has not been one thing that I stand out in at all. Not sports, I was never very good. Just good enough to make the team and that is about it.
Not relationships, we do not even need to go there.
Not motherhood, my children are the most spoiled, selfish, whiney, evil children in the world and I am proud to say I created those monsters since after all "children are a reflection of their parents"
Not being a wife, my husband has his own special way of reminding me that his life would function if I wasn't in it (not intentionally or to be mean, he just is great at his own life and I pretty much weigh him down).
Not being a friend, this one I suck at immensely. I drop the ball on so much when it comes to my friends and to be honest I am shocked I even have one.
Not being a sibling, this one is very apparent since I rarely hear from my siblings and when I am home, I am the center of everyone's jokes. Out of sight, out of mind.....
Not at having a career. I gave up my career to have another "career" as a stay at home mom. As stated above, FAIL!!! Moreover, add another fail for giving up one career that I was so-so at to have another one that I suck major ass at!!
Not at being a daughter. One of my parents at all times has issues with the things I do in my life. What I do is never good enough, never meets their approval or is met with discouraging words (again not intentionally, it is just because I fail at everything and they are being honest). 

I could add some more in there but I think I got my point across. Therefore, I guess I can end all of this foolishness of trying to get a degree and figure out who I want to be when I am older. I figured it out.....

I am who I am: MS. EPIC FAIL!!!!