Dating Sites

I have decided that there needs to be friendship dating site for military spouses or any spouse who moves around a lot. No to cheat on your spouse or anything like that. To find friends.....probably the hardest part of every single move.

Finding new friends gets harder and harder with every move and every passing year. As we get older, it is harder to find people we relate to; a person that fit in not only your life but in your families lives and that will be there for you as much as you will be there for them.

When I was younger, making friends was easy. I made friends with the people I was stationed with. We had similar interests, we had all be through the same trails that the Navy threw at us and typically, being so far from family, we became family for each other.

Once I got married and became a mother, 98% of my friends were either moms, military wives or both. I met people typically because of my children or because of my status as a milwife. When we moved overseas, my closest friends were the people who I met through other mil. spouses, were people I worked with on the PTA or were people I lived close to. Each one of them, I met through some sort of activity and we slowly became friends outside of that activity.

Now, we are here. In a new place, new home, and no new friends. With the kids being homeschooled this year, there will be no school activities to meet new people at. Little man is playing soccer but none of the moms hang out at practice. The princess starts gymnastics and scouts within the week so we will have to see how the mom situation works with that. I just honestly wish there was an easier way.

Like speed dating but instead, it could be called speed friending. Or instead of Match.com, someone could develop Friend.com. If their "fool-proof" method can help couples find each other, why couldn't they help a lonely, 30-something woman find a friend or two in the new place she now lives!! Or even a friends personal column. My ad would read: WANTED, drama-free, not-crazy female who enjoys coffee, wine, chocolate, shopping and movies. Must be able to hold a conversation, laugh at my "awesome" jokes, deal with my off-key singing at random times, understand my insane OCD, but most of all, just be there so the loneliness would stop feeling so heavy.

Oh well, one can dream, I guess? One day.....one day, life will feel our brand of normal again. I just wish that day would hurry up and get here!!!

We survived!!!!

 Well we survived!! 

Our first week of homeschooling went well, considering I have never done this before, never even considered it before and we were adjusting as the week went on. The kids seem to like the curriculum and I actually enjoy all the time the kids and I get to spend together. What I truly enjoy is watching them learn.

 


I have discovered that their favorite subjects are actually history, science and reading. I think if I got rid of Arithmetic, they would both be over the moon with excitement. But considering that is a core subject, that won't be happening. It will be my job to make learning it a little more fun (but let's be honest, how much fun is math really?) so that is what I will do. Overall, the year is off to a positive start!!

I have found that despite my love of routine and schedules, I love the flexibility homeschooling allows us. For example, Tuesday we all had a rough day. It was one of those "break down and cry" days that had us all very frustrated. So Wednesday, I decided to let everyone sleep-in instead of starting school at 8:30. It allowed us to have a fun, productive day and to recover from the drain of the previous day. I like that I can pick which days we are going to do school. On Monday, Labor Day, we will be doing school because we have nothing planned outside of the house. I am trying to bank days off for some special things we have coming up such as our trip to Nashville in two weeks and our vacation to Disney in May. The only requirement I have to fulfill in the state of Tennessee is that the kids get schooling for 180 days, 4 hours each day. No requirement on how this is achieved or where.

Considering that I have no requirements on how I have to teach the kids, I love that I can get creative with lessons. Although I did purchase a curriculum to follow, I chose a parent-led system to give myself creative freedom. On Tuesday, our household goods are finally suppose to arrive so I have a great way in mind to accomplish schooling while trying to direct the moving traffic. I will update later if it actually worked.

 


So all in all, homeschooling has been a great choice for us. The kids still miss having friends to play with but like Little Man said, their friends came from our neighborhood, not from school. So hopefully, soon, they will meet a kid or two to play with in our neighborhood. With all the new houses around us, maybe an awesome family will move in soon!! I will keep praying for that!!

When life gives you lemons....

The one thing my life has taught me is that when life gives you lemons, do your absolute best not to complain about their bitterness. If you can manage that, the lemonade you get in the end will be that much better!! Any one who really knows me, knows that I always try to find the silver lining in any situation and usually, my lack of complaining always leads me to greener pastures.

Tonight was a perfect example of this. Little Man finally started soccer, something we had all been very much looking forward to since it meant that we were finally getting some "normalcy" back into our lives. When we arrived to the field, we were a bit early but I wanted to make sure I introduced myself to the coach and wanted to make sure Little Man was at ease. I started to get a bit concerned when it became 5:40 and the coach still hadn't arrived, considering practice was suppose to start at 5:45. Finally he arrived and halfheartedly introduced himself to a few parents, mainly the Dads, before speaking to the boys. My concern deepened when the coach apologized for being unorganized, not having his equipment and then proceeded to have a difficult time getting the team to give him the attention he needed. But I decided to let it go,to see how my boy did and to just be happy that he might make a friend or two on the team. Nothing could beat the smile on his face as he started doing passing drills.

Eventually Princess and I decided to go walk along the walking trail surrounding the soccer fields. Half-way through our walk, my phone rings. The conversation goes like this:

Speaker: Hello ma'am, my name is Coach and your son is assigned to my U10 soccer team. Tonight is the first night of practice and he is not here so we were concerned.
Me: Yes, he is there. We were instructed to go to Field 8 East.
Speaker: Oh no, he is on our team but we are on 8 West. I will grab him and have him practice with us.
Me: Ok, I will be right there and I will bring him over

So, now I am even more concerned. First, the first coach didn't even realize Little Man was not suppose to be on his team? And now he is suppose to go on a different team with a new coach? Oh boy, how is this going to go over with my "anti-change" kid?

Well, it couldn't have turned out better. His new team is amazing!! All the boys are very nice and started talking to him right away. The coaches, both military guys, made him feel right at home and instantly realized how shy he is. They really encouraged every move he made and my boy loved every minute of it. When we left practice and went to dinner, he told me he couldn't wait for the next practice and he really thought this was going to be a great team. I am so happy to hear this and I am so glad that this worked out well for him. Lord knows, my kids need every ray of happiness they can get right now because this has been the hardest move ever for all of us!!

Finally, we are on our way to having a "normal" life again!!

The great school debate (Part 2)

After speaking with the people at the Student Services office, they stated that we could put in a request for a district transfer and they told me which school to request, the only school that currently had space. So we start that process, turn in the paperwork and wait. Fast forward a week and I get an email stating that our request had been denied, now we are back to square one. After learning that one of that factors in the denial was the kids absences from the previous year, we requested to speak to the director because we felt like they did not understand the circumstances behind their attendance record. After days and days of trying, the Hubby finally spoke with someone who stated that the kids attendance record had a lot to do with the decision but ultimately it was that military families did not fall into the "special circumstances" category for allowing a transfer outside of the transfer request window, which happens to be in March/April time. I am beyond angry to know that military families are treated with such disregard but that doesn't help the fact that I now need to figure out how and where my children will be schooled.

Now we are left with three choices:
1) Send the kids to the less desirable school and pray that it turns out ok.
2) Homeschool the kids for a year and reapply for the transfer during the regular request period. 

3) Go through the legal process of breaking our lease and start the search for a new house.

Considering how rough this move has been on the kids, option #1 was our last choice in the matter. We discussed the pros and cons to both #2 and #3. Despite the fact that we have not moved into the house yet, we still have a legally binding lease and it would be very difficult to get out of it. Plus, it took us a long week and 11 houses to find the perfect house for us. Would we be able to find that again? On top of it, the kids absolutely did not want to look for a new house. They love the house we picked as much as we do.

That leaves us with homeschooling, something I have always considered but have never tried. We had a family meeting to discuss the options with the kids to see what they wanted and Noah was 100% gung-ho about being homeschooled, Jordan was reluctant. She was worried about making friends and not having any one to play with. I reassured her that we would join homeschooling groups to meet new people and make some friends as well as get her signed up for gymnastics. Finally, she got excited about it so the decision was made.....we are going to become a home-school family!!!

I can't believe I am going to be doing this.....I have never been more nervous about anything in my whole life!! 

The great school debate (Part 1)

One of the most frustrating part about our lifestyle is doing everything we can to make sure the kids aren't affected too greatly by our constant moves. Listening to them cry for their friends and watch the tears roll down their cheeks breaks my heart to no end. My sweet princess has started having nightmares again and Little Man has become more shy than ever before. I pray constantly that these moves do not scar them permanently but only time will tell on that.

Considering I am a huge researcher, especially when ever we have to move, trying to find the perfect school zone is always the first thing I research. I spend countless hours looking at schools, reviewing their ranks in test scores, reading reviews and trying to learn everything I can about the school my children could potential attend. Moving to Italy, I don't have to worry about much in terms of research because I knew I wanted the kids to attend the DoDDs school there since it is ranked the top DoDDs in all of Europe. Moving to TN, DoDDs was no an option so the quest began to find the best school zones.

After all the research, I narrowed it down to two towns so our home search also was narrowed down to two towns. Finally, after finding the perfect house right around the corner from one of the top schools on my list, we knew we had to jump on it. What we didn't expect was to have everything we had hoped for and anticipated be completely wrong.

The day after we signed the lease, I contacted the local school board to ensure I was enrolling the kids into the correct school. When I was researching the address, there were two different schools listed as the zoned schools so I just wanted to make sure.Well, after speaking with the school board, I was in for a huge surprise!!! Our house, despite being in the town, was not in the town's school zone. My children would be sent to a school in a completely different town, 20 minutes away from our house and a school that ranks very low on the rating scale. Ummmmm, no, not gonna happen.

So now is the time to figure out our options. Stay tuned for those.......

PCS #9

I can't believe how long it has been since I have written. Far too long but I figure since I have so much on my mind, maybe blogging about it will be helpful in clearing my mind a bit.

So here we are....still in the midst of PCS #9 and this one sure is a doozy. It all started back in Janaury when we found out we would be heading to California sometime over the summer. We were pretty excited because it was someplace we have both wanted to live. Fast forward to April, the day before our anniversary, we find out the Husband got selected for promotion!! YAY!!! So exciting especially when we didn't think it was going to happen this year. But the first thing crosses both of our minds....goodbye California living!!!

As we waited to hear where we go next, we did the usual speculation, spending countless minutes discussing "what if". Finally the phone call came that we were waiting for and our choices were Tennessee or Washington DC. After much discussion, we decided that Tennessee would be the best move for our family. Hubby gives the word and the wait begins. We have no idea when we will leave, the only thing we know is that it will come fast and will happen quickly.

Quickly was a total understatement......the moment we got orders to the moment we stepped on the plane back to the United States equaled 22 days. 22 days to pack our entire life, tie up loose ends and say goodbye to friends and our life in Italy. 22 days was not long enough. There was still so much I wanted to see, to taste, to say, to enjoy but life had other plans for us. I did my best to enjoy every second of those 22 days but when chaos ensues, it is truly an extremely difficult task to enjoy any moment in life.

Now we fast-forward to today, day #52 of "suitcase" living and the light at the end of the tunnel is barely a flicker. I can only say a prayer every day that soon, we will be settled into our new life here for however long it will last!! :-)

Change is coming....

I feel it.....the winds of change are trying to force themselves upon our lives and I am not digging it.

No one likes change.

Being a military wife, however, I have learned to adapt to a lot of change. Change in schedules, change in addresses, change in time but sometimes it is not an easy thing.

Last night, we had an impromptu neighborhood get together which, for me, was very much needed. I had a day filled with specific plans that didn't go as planned (go figure). While sitting outside with this wonderful group of friends I have made here, it suddenly hit me that change will happen soon enough and nights like that will be long gone yet again. As we discussed our plans for the future such as new duty stations, trips being taken and where we would like to end up one day, I also realized how lucky I am to have made such wonderful friends and with some, despite our geographical change, our friendship will not change.

That is one of the perks to being a Navy wife. I get the opportunity to make new friends but still keep old ones. I have friends in all corners of the world, some who I speak to regularly and others not so much but thanks to the power of social media, I can keep up with what they are doing and how they are doing. Their lives change just as frequently as mine but at the end of the day, I can still call them friend. These people are my family, especially when my actual family is half a world away.

So as I start to worry about the change that is looming (yes, it has to do with orders and yes, they are coming very soon), I know one that will never change and that is that I have some pretty awesome friends all over the world and that I will have the opportunity to make new, amazing friends at the next place we live!! So I guess, sometimes, change isn't so bad!!