Friendships

So how loyal are you in your friendships? Do you stick by your friends no matter what? Do you tell them when they messed up and you don't agree with it? Or do you tell your friend one thing (what you think they want to hear) and other people something else just to save face? I very recently found out that a friend of mine may have done this to me and I am pretty upset about it. The situation that occurred is not what I am upset about, nor am I upset that I think she threw me under the bus. I am not even upset, I am hurt....hurt by the fact that I think she told me one thing and other people something else. Now, yes I am getting my information for a third party so I am not beleiving it completely yet but it is making me question my friendship with this person. I hate when I have to question any relationship in my life. And honestly, I have gotten to the point that there is no sense questioning it, just move past it.

I just don't know why I allow myself to get into these types of situations. I have always been the doormat for people, never sticking up for myself and always giving so much to people who don't deserve it. I guess I always try to find the good in people no matter what and look past things that are staring me smack dab in my face. Lee is always telling me that I need to get a backbone and tell people how I feel but I never do. And sadly, I am the person who is always accused of being a "bitch" because I let things go and go and bottle them up inside until I finally explode and it makes things 10 times worse. Oh well, you can't teach an old dog new tricks right? Maybe one of these days.....